If you need to interject, for instance to ask for clarification on something that was said. Chronic interrupters are renowned as poor listeners (and in many cases they are utterly resented). Take cues as to when to speak, but the best policy is, if in doubt just listen. Refrain from interrupting with solutions even If you are sure they are awesome. You are showing that you don’t care and that in your opinion, what you have to say is much more important. This seems obvious but its something that we can all be guilty of it at times. The only relevant thing in the room is the person speaking, so if your mind starts to wander bring it back to present. Bank any thoughts of responses until they have reached a natural conclusion to the point they are making. Paint a mental picture in your head of what the person is saying as you listen. This can take discipline, but in the long run you will reap the benefits of greater understanding and empathy. Jumping to conclusions is a sure fire way to come across like you weren’t listening to a word someone said.

Don’t decide what the person is telling you before they have finished. It is important not to openly judge when listening.

Have you just remembered your mum’s birthday is tomorrow? Then deal with it after the conversation to avoid drifting away in thought and looking like you aren’t listening (because you probably won’t be listening anyway). It’s also important not to be distracted by what is going on in your own head. You are coming across as someone who literally couldn’t care less! Try and block out all other distractions and noise if possible. If you do this stop it immediately, try to put your phone out of sight. Step 2: Be attentiveĮver been talking to someone and they look at their phone? How does that make you feel? Not good right? In this age of technology, it is very common for people to glance at phones/pcs when someone else if speaking. It really is the key to building trust, respect, interest, understanding and appreciation. Keeping natural eye contact (its not a staring competition) builds trust more than any other form of body language. As Paul Coehlo said “The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.” Its not just polite but it will make whoever you are listening to feel like they are important and what they are saying is valuable. It really is worth the effort to think about HOW you are listening. When you become an effective listener you build relationships in a way that will help your further your own agenda anyway. You should really pay attention and stop the bad habit we can often have of thinking of your own agenda. Add to that the plethora of distractions of the modern world and effective listening is not as easy as it should be.

So how do you become a better listener?Īccording to research, human beings have an 8 second attention span. These relationships have developed over time but it is not always easy to have the same understanding with those you don’t know as well, particularly in the workplace. I can guarantee that these people listen to you intently and you do likewise to them. Think about those that you already have a great relationship with. It really is the key to better relationships in all areas of your life, from personal to your career. Listening effectively is one of the most important skills we can have in our lives.

Good listening strategies